My Landmark Forum Experience

Re Inventing

2011-04-29T11:26:00.001-07:00

It has been awhile since I posted anything, I was kind of hoping that others would contribute...but even if not I thought I would just post a little something in case anyone is interested. You can always create a new possibility for yourself. I do it every morning when I wake up, I usually have a breakdown and have to do it again the next morning, but at least I know that I can.

Landmark Forum: some more

2009-08-18T05:23:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since I posted anything. I figured I would give a quick update.
I have found that what was taught does stay with you, but you definitely need to think and remind yourself about it; otherwise you get caught up in the real world. Which it really is. there is the idyllic world that you create for yourself and then there is reality. And when I say reality, I mean a world that makes it hard to remain positive. Because you will find quickly, that the initial 'high' that you get from the forum disappears unless you pony up and go to other classes; where, as always, you are encouraged to bring others to sign up.

Landmark Education (cont):

2009-08-06T07:50:00.000-07:00

Been awhile since I posted anything. I have not gone to any more of the seminar, was taking too much of my time, but they keep calling me.
Also, I keep getting emails from them, reminding me to invite people.
Once again, the stuff they talk about is cool, but they need to lay off the marketing.

Ladmark Forum: Seminar The First Day

2009-07-22T07:50:00.000-07:00

It has been a bit since I posted anything here so I figured I would go ahead real quick and let you know that I did go to one of the seminar classes.
It seemed to be rehash of what was done in forum except that it centers on one particular aspect of it. Basically, take one piece of the forum and spend 3 hours a week for 10 weeks discussing it. The other seminars may not be like this one, but this one was this way.
I do not have much time since I need to do my real work, but I do want to add that the structure is very similar to the forum, in a room with no windows and microphones and sales pitches. We were even told that part of the seminar was to learn how to speak to people about the forum, that shows us good leadership (according to them), to me it was how to market properly for them.
Ok, sorry for the short post. will give more detail at a latter time.

Landmark Forum: The Tuesday Session

2009-07-07T06:32:00.000-07:00

Ok, the long awaited Tuesday session.

Let me start with saying, I went to this as a guest prior to doing the forum and I WOULD NOT recommend it to anyone who has not done the forum. The first half of it is one big sales pitch to get you to sign up for the forum. After you sit in the large room and they go over what the forum is, they then send you to smaller rooms in groups where you get a "taste" of what the forum is.

I left the small group room when we where asked to practice filling out the registration forms...how ridiculous is that?

So let me say again, do not go to the Tuesday night as a visitor, it completely soured me and when I left I said I certainly never would do something like that. It took a number of weeks for me to even entertain the idea of doing the forum again since doing that.

That said, now I can tell you what it was like from the other side.
Being a participant, the first half of the Tuesday night was the same as my previous experience, it was a pitch to get people to sign up for the forum. The second half was broken down into two things: 1) discussing more about what you learned and 2) trying to get you to sign up for the advanced course (actually quite a bit of time was spent on this).

So in conclusion, what did I think about the forum. It was extremely interesting and definitely worth doing. If someone told me they wanted to do it I would support them in doing so, but I would never invite people to any of the nights not would I attempt to pressure them into doing so.
You do leave the forum with kind of a high that does wear off and I believe that they use this to get you to keep coming to other classes. Now is that a bad thing, not really, how is it any different than people going to Church or temple or somewhere else to feel good. The problem I see lies in where you do not make it a part of your life, but you make it your life. I met people there who feel the same way I do, but I also have met people that have done the forum twice in 3 months. I am not saying that their way is wrong, because it is entirely up to them how they chose to live their life; but I do not want to be beholden to Landmark Education to make myself "feel good" or to get through life.

So one more time, in conclusion, it was a great experience and I would recommend it....just be carefull they are a cult you know and they made me write this (OK, just kidding). Seriously, it was a great experience.

Since it has been awhile since I did the forum, it is now time for me to do the 10 week seminar that is included with the price of the forum. I went to the first one of these last week and have the second one tonight. I will keep you informed about them later. let me just say, they told us one of the things that we will learn in the seminar is how to talk to people who have not taken the forum about the forum (somehow that makes us better people, I think that may be one of the sections I choose not to agree with).

Talk to you later :)

http://landmarkforumexperiance.com/

2009-07-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

Working on a better version of this here: http://landmarkforumexperiance.com/

Landmark Forum: Third Day

2009-06-30T06:10:00.000-07:00

So I was up all night on the second night thinking about the day and speaking to my girlfriend and father on the phone. Basically, your mind is pretty much racing (OH, and a quick aside, I am set to go to the first of the 10 week seminars tonight, not really looking forward to it, expecting more sales pitches, and the weather is to nice out, don't really feel like being motivated to go, but I told my girlfriend I would go with her).

So on the third day what do we do? We do an exercise that allows us to think about our fear. I guess people got different things out of this exercise, basically you relax and close your eyes and you are told to think of the thing you fear to death. I think this was supposed to be some form of hypnosis or something, you closed your eyes, the guy counted backwards, etc, etc. It really did not for me other than give me some quiet time to think about what we were being asked to focus on, however, other people where crying uncontrollably and really just going on and on. I almost felt like I was doing something wrong, but when it was over I spoke with others and they pretty much had the same experience that I did. But what did I learn from it (and this is just what I took from it, everyone else may have gotten something else), but I got out of it, that unless it truly can kill me, nothing needs to be scary because you can always get through it. The other thing that you got (I guess after the tell you) is that everyone else is just as scared as you are in life.

After we did this exercise we learned the meaning to life, or so to speak, it is 4...no just kidding, it is that there is no real meaning other than what you put to it. So stop going around trying to find the meaning to life and just enjoy the ride (that is my take).

After we did all of that, we had a really big sales pitch to sign up for the advanced course and to invite people to Tuesday. We must have spent an hour talking about signing up for the advanced course (I hope these seminars are not that way). And then we basically spoke about how to apply what we learned.

Ok, that was kind of quick, but gives you the gist of what we did. Next time I will cover what we did on the Tuesday and why you should never invite anyone to do it; yet if someone said they wanted to go to the forum I would say good for you and encourage them, but they would have to be the one to make the suggestion that they wanted to participate.

Landmark Forum: More of the Second Day

2009-06-26T06:39:00.000-07:00

Wow, I never thought that this would be this difficult. I thought I knew exactly what I was going to write, the format it would be, etc, etc. But, as time goes by and I get further and further from doing the Forum, it becomes more of a blur. That does not mean that the tools I learned are forgotten, but I cannot remember exactly what order things took place any more and things like that. But let me say, I do know it was on Saturday night that I got it (not got some you dirty birds, but got it).

In doing the homework from Saturday I spoke to my father on the phone for about an hour and a half in a way that I have never before and then spoke with my girlfriend on the phone till about 3:30 AM or so (see, they do use sleep deprivation to brainwash you :) ). After speaking on the phone with my girlfriend I realized the following:

I could transform my life at any given moment in time. I could do it once a year and set new goals, or 20 times a day if I do not like what is going on in my life.
What the forum leader was saying did not really matter, meaning I did not agree with everything that he said (in particular that I need to invite people to come on Tuesday in order to guarantee that I have a break through....what a bunch of BS). But rather than sit there and get upset or mentally have an argument with him in my head that distracted me from everything else, I just said to myself "I do not agree with him, and what does it really matter what he has to say any way, I am not here to gain his praise" (OK maybe those where not the words I used, but you get the gist of it). Believe it or not, at one point he asked someone at the microphone if they wanted to have a breakthrough with him (meaning the leader), and I thought to myself, why do you need to have a breakthrough with the leader? What does he really mean in your life, why put so much importance on what he says, remember he just wants your money (ok, maybe not, but it keeps people interested if I say that). So in essence, if I do not put any meaning to what he says, I will not get upset when he says you need to bring people or sign up for another class, why?, because it does not matter what he says.

This is becoming a big run on bullet point, but I wanted to add that at one point on Sunday someone was going on at the microphone about something and the leader was pressing them to invite people on Tuesday, so I just watched the interaction and it actually started to take on the feeling of watching TV. I distanced myself from the conversation and watched just like watching a sitcom, I had no negative emotion, it was just pure entertainment.

3) I also learned at this point that I only live once and need to do what makes me happy now, because I only have the one life to live, that does not mean be selfish, but pursue things that make me happy and enroll others to help me get there (it is always more fun taking a journey with someone else).

4) I also learned that there really is nothing to be worried about with anything, why, because unless it kills you, you can always bounce back.

Ok, enough for now...gotta run. I will continue later...thanks for your patience.

Landmark Forum: The Second Day

2009-06-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

OK, it has been awhile since the last, post...sorry, but can't say that it will not happen again; life gets in the way sometimes.

So on the first day we all learned that we were all liars. We lie to ourselves, we lie to others, in generally, we are all a bunch of liars. OK, maybe that over simplifies it a bit, but in a nut shell, that is it. We go around in life building up things around us to maintain our lies. I am not saying that the lies are "bad", but just that they are lies.

On the second day we learn to accept that the lies are lies, and that we do not have to be bound by those lies. Basically, you are what you are (pretty simple right?); so if you do not like what you are, no longer be that, become something else. You do not need to let the past lies constrain you and prevent you from becoming what you want to be.

Speaking of the past, basically (what I took from it), is use the past for what it is, a learning experience, but do not let it dictate what you do in the future. If you truly want to do something and have failed previously, or maybe where made fun of for doing, or anything like that; do not let it prevent you from doing it again.
In addition, don't dwell on the past. If a dog does something bad and they get yelled at, do you think they spend the next 5 years of their life thinking about how "bad" they were, no, they get over it...and you should too. If you did something you regret, oh well, don't do it again, but don't go around killing yourself for it so that you are currently unhappy.

Anyway...gotta run...will write more latter.
Oh yeah before I forgot...for those looking for a negative...it is a cult, they want your money, they brain wash you, you cannot go to the bathroom, you cannot eat, etc. etc......
OK that is not true (will with the exception of they want your money, they are a business).

Landmark Forum: Conclusion of the First Day

2009-06-17T11:26:00.000-07:00

OK, so it has taken me a bit to get back to writing this. And I am kind of getting to the point where I cannot remember what took place on what day, but can remember it taking place. So, I am trying to keep this in chronological order, but cannot guarantee that it will be that way.

So, here is some more stuff that takes place on day one. In addition to learning how we currently listen to people, we also learn to separate what actually happened from what we think happened. Using the terms learned in the forum, separate the facts from the story. Believe it or not, this has helped me greatly in dealing with my anxiety. I would read something bad into everything that was said. I would worry about loosing my job, etc, etc. based on what I read into things. Now I take the words for what they actually say, without trying to put a different meaning to them. Now, it could mean that I would loose my job, but then again, I if I were to loose my job it would have happened whether I read to much into it or not; this way I do not go around worrying about it every moment of every day, and I would deal with it if it happens.

I hope that last paragraph made sense, it made sense to me when writing it, but that may just be because I knew what I wanted to say.

Anyway, continuing on. In addition to learning how we listen we also learn about why we are listening the way we are listening or the why we are acting the way we are acting. And the answer is pretty obvious, it is based on past experience (well really...duh...). So we spent a good part of the day (and our homework for that evening), looking at this. It is actually a great experience, imagine having the ability to take 3 -4 hours out of your day just to sit and think about why you do things, most of us are too busy to this or will get interrupted numerous times while doing this.

While learning about how you listen and act, you realize that a lot of what you do is predicated on lies that you tell yourself and than put onto others (for example, someone saying you never support me, when in actuality they never have said any such thing, and have done the opposite; why do you say this, maybe because you are upset that you never took a particular risk and are looking for someone to blame, when the blame is actually with you).

One of the other major things that you learn (I think it was today, could be Saturday, but I know it was not Sunday), is that words are just words, and they mean nothing until you put meaning to them. Kind of like the old sticks and stones saying and how words will never hurt you.
Basically, if someone says something nasty, brush it off, why, who cares what they think, don't but a negative meaning to what they say, put a neutral meaning to it (yes that is a pretty obvious and easy example, but it can be done with many things; maybe a boss tells you your work sucks, well, rather than say I am a loser my work sucks, you can put the meaning of, I did my best, my boss does not see it, that his his/her loss, not mine.) So basically, but not putting this negative meaning to things you do not have to go around pissed off, or feeling inferior, etc,etc. Also keep in mind, this is what I got out of everything, your experience could be completely different.

Also, you learn that there is no right or wrong...pretty scary right, it's anarchy!!!!! That is not what it means (and this could have been Saturday too, maybe not Friday). In essence it means believe what you want to, if you want to believe what the "coach" is saying believe it, if you think what they are saying is a crock, well than go ahead and believe that. Basically, everything in life is a point of view, you are not right, and the "coach" is not right, you both just have different points of view, and let it go at that. There really is no need to be right, because you never will be, all you will have is your point of view and they will have theirs, the points of view could be the same and that would be OK, but if they are not the same, well, that is OK too.

The homework for that night was to write a letter to someone (and call them if you wish), to explain to them how you were not being honest with them (based on what you learned from today). Oh, and invite them to come on Tuesday (there is that pesky sales side again)

So in a nutshell, here is the first day:
1) sit in a room from 9:00 AM to 10:00 PM, with 3 or 4 breaks every 2 1/2 to 3 hours.
2) sit and think about yourself during that time frame.
3) listen to others and learn what they think about themselves and see if it could apply to yourself.
4) get asked more than 1 too many times to invite people on Tuesday night.
5) do the homework (of which I had a great conversation with my girl friend).
6) try to sleep, a bit hard because your mind is really racing from all of the self introspection that you have done today.

Ok, enough rambling for now.
Please feel free to comment or ask any questions, I would love to share with you.

Landmark Forum: More of the First Day

2009-06-04T12:52:00.001-07:00

OK...so last time I went over what the rules. Now let me tell you what actually occured (other than what I said earlier where you get the chance to leave if you want).

Now, let me say, what I got out of it may not be what you get out of it, and what I took things to mean, does not mean what was actually said, just the meaning I put to things. Wow, that sounds confusing, in a nut shell, all I can tell you is what I thought of it, you may have a completely different view point if you choose to attend.

After the orientation, we moved onto the "Already Always Listening" section. Let me take a side note to say that although the syllabus was followed, the transition from section to section was not always an "OK, we are done with part one, lets move onto part two", it was more that the topics of the syllabus where incorporated into the conversation; so we may have covered something in the syllabus without actually saying "OK this is in the syllabus".

As far as the "Already Always Listening" section goes, and the rest of the day for that matter, it is pretty much looking at ourselves and preconceived notions that we have about things. For instance, in this section, we look at how we look at how we use our past to influence what we hear, or what we think we are going to hear. For instance, if you ask your father (for instance) for some advice, you may not actually listen to the advice because going into the conversation you already know what the outcome is going to be (well, not really, but you think you know what the outcome is going to be.

What the "Already Always Listening" section taught me was to go into every conversation ready to listen to what the other person is saying, I let them finish speaking then evaluate what is said. Ok, truth is I may not always do this, but when I fail I recognize it and I do it next time. Since I am not a robot (oh wait, I forgot, according to some on the Internet they turned me into a robot), and I am human, I will fail many times, but I do not let that deter me from trying again.

Oh, here is a link to the syllabus if you want to see it:
http://www.landmarkeducation.com/landmark_forum_course_syllabus.jsp

Oh, and let me add, through out the day you are encouraged to call people and discuss with them what you are learning, oh, and to invite them to the Tuesday night sales pitch. Once again, I loved the forum, but like others, hated the sales side of it, guess they need to eat too.

Oops, sorry to be so short, I will continue on with day one again later, but there is something else I am going to go do right now, but I am going to get back to this...sorry to keep you hanging.

Landmark Forum: continuing....

2009-06-03T22:25:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have some time before bed and figured I would add some more for anyone interested.

Let's see, I left off saying how I over reacted...let's take it from there.

After getting really mad at my girl friend for going to the forum, I realized that it was jealousy over the way she was acting. Actually, that is not entirely true, I had major fears that this would become an all consuming aspect of her life, and that I would be phased out; but the fact of the matter is, she was acting differently, yes, at times she had a few break downs (most of them caused by me), but all in all, she definitely seemed transformed.

So I finally agree to go to the forum, and of course, like always, I have hangups and did not want her to tell anyone I was going (I even lied to my father about going because I was afraid of how he would react because I brought him into my over-reaction drama, but I did fess up to him prior to going). I was especially mad that she had said anything to her Mother and step-father (remember him from earlier of the EST stuff...did you check it out). What it boiled down to is, I did not want to be one of those people that need help to get through life (and that is not what they do, they give you a different view on life, not tell you what to do or how to live), I wanted to be a strong person who can figure it all out on my own.
She then put a whole bunch of pre-conditions on me going, I refused to meet any of these conditions because it was not what the original deal was, that she would pay for me to go to the Landmark Forum if I chose; with one exception: I did agree to give it 100% and keep an open mind (I actually found it surprising that she said earlier that she was surprised that I was open minded for even thinking of going, that was kind of a big surprise for me because I thought that she had already known that about me...maybe I needed this class more than I thought).

OK...so here it goes...not exactly sure on how to do this...do I do it in a chronological order with a bunch of side notes, do I just give you the facts then fill in the story later, do I tell you what they said and what I took it too mean...I just am not sure...so, I am going to wing it...BEWARE: the story may jump around and the time line might not make sense, but then again I was locked in a room for 13 hours with nothing to eat and not allowed to use the bathroom (OK just kidding, but that is what I had read elsewhere on the Internet and that is why I was concerned about the whole Forum in general).

Day one (or as much of it as I feel like typing before I go to bed):
The first part of the Forum is spent discussing what will happen and what the rules are, and if you do not like what you are told you are given the opportunity to leave with a full refund (no one took them up on the offer, and I did hear someone say that they were thinking of leaving but did not want to leave in front of all the people there because it would be embarrassing...let me tell you, if you want to leave, leave...chances are that you will never see any of these people again, but I would say from my viewpoint, stay, it is very interesting...and most likely very entertaining.

Here are the rules (they may differ from one class to another so I can only speak for what happened in my class, and I do seem to remember that one or two where thrown at you at the end of the first day or break, not entirely sure...but here is what they are:

No food in the room only water. They say so the carpet stays clean, some on the Internet say to con troll you, me...I say I don't need everyone eating around me in a conference room, there is a half hour or so break every 2 1/2 - 3 hours, plenty of time to go to your bag and eat a snack, and there is an hour and 1/2 break for dinner later in the day.
No drugs or alchohl until after the last class on Tuesday. They say, well they never did...some on the Internet say to control you...I say, since part of the class is learning to make commitments and stick to them, this is a good one to go for a test run on...and if you can't have a drink or smoke a joint for a few days, maybe you should be looking at other programs...don't get me wrong, I love to drink, and there is nothing wrong with drinking or other activities that you choose to partake in, but come on...it's only a few days...
Be on time for all sessions...They say, it is another commitment and if you miss something in the session that you may not get the results...the Internet says...they are controlling you...I say I tend to agree with if you miss something you miss something...this kind of goes with the bathroom thing...Let me be clear, no one forces you to stay in the room, many people came and went as they wanted, but if you miss something while you are out of the room, you miss something.
No sleeping in the class, see the above rule...pretty much the same.

Well, that pretty much finishes the rules..I think, maybe I missed one, if anyone wants to add feel free.

OK, going to bed now, will tell more about day one next time.

Landmark Forum: The Begining

2009-06-03T12:54:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!!!!
Pretty excited to be doing this. I was thinking of a way to share my experience with the Landmark Forum with everyone. It may take a bit to do, it was a pretty big roller coaster. Hell, even getting me to go to the thing was a big drama. That being said, it may be a few posts to actually get everything I want to say out there, and it may wander and jump back and forth so please bear with me.

The Start:
My girlfriend and I had been having some problems (OK, that is an understatement), and someone close to her had suggested that she participate in the Landmark Forum, he had done it years ago when it was still EST (want to get scared, start googling EST). I supported her in doing it until I began researching on the web what this thing was that she was actually doing, and then I began to worry....really worry. I thought she had joined a cult that turned her brain to mush and that all she would want to do was to go to more cult meetings. Let me say right now, I over reacted...wait, that is an understatement...I completely over reacted....wait that is an understatement too, I gave myself a panic attack and lashed out at her for going. Why did I do this you ask, because of everything I have read on the Internet and then after hearing her on the phone sounding like a zombie (when in actuality, she was just happy to have learned something about herself). In addition, the insistence that I sign up now and go do this myself.

It all sounded like brain washing to me, and for days I gave her the hardest time trying to find out what "they" did to her. She told me she would pay for me to go to this class, and my comment was "If it is that good, it will still be that good in a few months if I choose to go" (well I may have actually used the word decide, not sure exactly what the story is and what the facts are, lol ).

OH and before I go any further, I am going on the assumption that you know what the Landmark Forum is ... well here it goes:

A cult that takes all of your money.
A cult that tells you you are horrible
A cult that tells you nothing matters
A cult that tells you there is no right or wrong.
A horrible, horrible thing that should be stopped at all costs.

Great...did I get your attention? It really is not any of that, what it actually is, is a for profit company that offers classes. I can only speak for the one class that I took, but it is a very informative class that takes place over the course of 3 1/2 days. It was one of the few times in my life where I have actually been able just to sit and think about my life for sometime without the bothers of the rest of the world, think of it as a self actualization class. Oh yeah, I forgot, it is a bit salesey (sp), they do try hard to get you to sign up for more classes, but then again, when you go to buy a car, don't they want you to get the protective undercoat too?

Anyway. enough of that interlude...there is so much to say about this, but unfortunately I just do not have the time to finish it right now. I will continue latter letting everyone know about what it took to get me there and I will let you know exactly what happened, tell you what I learned about myself and my life, and answer any questions that anyone has. But for now, I chose to stop because I have some other things to do.

Keep in touch